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onedayremains88

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Long time.... [Nov. 29th, 2005|03:48 pm]
onedayremains88
[mood |gloomygloomy]
[music |Machine Head "The Burning Red"]

Yeah, its been forever since I wrote here, but I have 10 minutes before I go to work and feel like it's time for an update. Things are alright i guess, for the... one other person aside from me that may read this, they know what's going on. I don't really know what to say anymore. It's more of the same. I waited like 3 months to come on here for my own reasons and well, yeah. I need a break... i need a life maybe. As soon as things seem OK, they aren't, in all aspects of life. I just did way too much thinking over the weekend, sitting 15 feet up in a treestand waiting for a fuckin deer to come by. I think too much... I think about things I probably shouldn't be thinking about... and it makes me feel like shit. But hey, what else is new. I'm so tired... tired of life in general. Everything around me is blasting me like I've been condemned to be stoned and they have the ammo. I love this song, for so many reasons. Machine head is no doubt a great metal band but with this they show they have true feeling too. The lyrics make me feel so... like I do. But not only because of the words either. Maybe I've been staring at the sun for too long... but hell, thats my fault. Whatever I'm not the most important thing in the world, and thats my fault too.

"The Burning Red"
I see the sun begin to rise
And I'm blinded too
I've seen the world thru
Jaded eyes that I'm crying thru
I've watched the darkness hypnotize
And confided

Hold on I'm falling can't
Breathe anymore
An ocean has opened
These scars need to
Heal over

Caress the needle prick in my skin
The tears fell like rain
I've rode the Phoenix as she glides
And I've gone insane
I've seen the light of suicide
And I'm dying

Hold on I'm falling can't
Breathe anymore
An ocean has opened
These scars need to
Heal over

Colder and colder
Just hold onto me
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(no subject) [Oct. 12th, 2005|12:08 pm]
onedayremains88
[mood |distresseddistressed]
[music |Disturbed "Stricken"]

I purposely have been leaving this journal Idle the past month or so. I have had no urge to write here, update, read my friends or anything. I didn't wanna read antyhing that would upset me, and sure enough, I found something that did. I did... I knew I would if I did. I did. Now I'm confused, hurt, messed up. Nothing works... I don't understand. I don't get it. I feel like a side project. I feel like I'm just for kicks sometimes. I don't understand... it hurts. Not a good way to start my afternoon, now I'm gonna end up at work all fucked up. I need answers... honest answers. Just as this was looking so good again... just when I thought it was going to work again... it all seems to blow up in my face. I love you... I think I'll shower now, and blast the only song that ever makes sense to me anymore. The one I have on right now.
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Why do you love me? [Sep. 13th, 2005|02:28 pm]
onedayremains88
[mood |hothot]
[music |Garbage "Why Do You Love Me?"]

If I have ever heard any song that ever describes something better, shoot me. I put this on just now and it hit me. All it is is a big question. She doesn't know. I just wish she would understand that sometimes it's not about understanding the why's of love. It just is love. Like she said, when I'm there, she feels it. Baby I love you... there's no questions you need to ask. It doesn't matter what other people think, cuz I do. I do...

"Why Do You Love Me?"

I'm no barbie doll
I'm not your baby girl
I've done ugly things and I have made mistakes
And I am not as pretty as those girls in magazines
I am rotten to my core if they're to be believed
So what if I'm no baby bird hanging upon your every word?
Nothing ever smells of roses that rises out of mud

Why do you love me
Why do you love me
Why do you love me, it's driving me crazy
Why do you love me
Why do you love me
Why do you love me, it's driving me crazy
Why do you love me
Why do you love me
Why do you love me, it's driving me crazy
Why do you love me
Why do you love me

You're not some little boy
Why you acting so surprised
You're sick of all the rules
Well I'm sick of all your lies
Now I've held back a wealth of shit, I think I'm gonna choke
I'm standing in the shadows with the words stuck in my throat
Does it really come as a surprise when I tell you I don't feel good?
Nothing ever came from nothing man
Oh man, ain't that the truth

Why do you love me
Why do you love me
Why do you love me, it's driving me crazy
Why do you love me
Why do you love me
Why do you love me, it's driving me crazy
Why do you love me
Why do you love me
Why do you love me, it's driving me crazy
Why do you love me
Why do you love me
I get back up and I do it again
I get back up and I do it again
I get back up and I do it again
I get back up and I do it, I do it again

I think you're sleeping with a friend of mine
I have no proof but I think that I'm right
And you've still got the most beautiful face
It just makes me sad most of the time

I get back up and I do it again
I get back up and I do it again
I get back up and I do it again
I get back up and I do it, I do it again
Do it again
Do it again
Do it again

Why do you love me
Why do you love me
Why do you love me, it's driving me crazy
Why do you love me
Why do you love me
Why do you love me, it's driving me crazy
Why do you love me
Why do you love me
Why do you love me
Why do you love me
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Rip em... [Aug. 23rd, 2005|01:07 am]
onedayremains88
[mood |distresseddistressed]
[music |HIM "Wings Of A Butterfly"]

"Wings Of A Butterfly"

Heaven ablaze in our eyes
We're standing still in time
The blood on our hands is the wine
We offer as sacrifice

[Chorus]
Come on, and show them your love
Rip out the wings of a butterfly
For your soul, my love
Rip out the wings of a butterfly
For your soul

This endless mercy mile
We're crawling side by side
With hell freezing over in our eyes
Gods kneel before our crime

[Chorus]
Come on lets show, them your love
Rip out the wings of a butterfly
For your soul, my love
Rip out the wings of a butterfly
For your soul
(Rip out the wings of a butterfly)
Don’t let go
(Rip out the wings of a butterfly)
For your soul

[Chorus]
Come on, and show them your love
Rip out the wings of a butterfly
For your soul, my love
Rip out the wings of a butterfly
For your soul
(Rip out the wings of a butterfly)
Don’t let go
(Rip out the wings of a butterfly) [x2]

For your soul

Sometimes it feels like you just gotta be the butterfly. Rip out my wings, for you. How many wings do I have? Plenty. Enough to go around. For you at least, an infinite number.

Edit:
I'm worried... I don't wanna lose my best friend. To anything. If only... if only I could do something. :'-(

Edit again:
I think I know why. Not like it matters, but I think I know why. I know I can't change it, but I wish so badly that I could. If only I was able...
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Orgasmatron!!! [Aug. 22nd, 2005|11:37 am]
onedayremains88
[mood |thirstythirsty]
[music |Killswitch Engage "Rose of Sharyn"]

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeloooooooooooooo
I'm a caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar
Lets go for a riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide
Gas-O-Line Makes Me run.
Baaaaaaaaaaaaack-seeeeeeeeeeat
Truuuuuuuuuuuuuunk Spaaaaaaaaaaaaace
etc. etc.

I dunno. I'm just like ksjfkulsdf now. It's weird. Not like good or bad just kinda like, meh. Whatever. The party was alright. Confusing, but alright. I got told I was thin, which is always pretty cool, yet unbelievable. Didn't sleep much. Spent the day after with Ken Lisa and Char, everyone was tired. Mass destruction in the pool on Saturday was the cause I think. Sunburn still hurts, not as bad though. Slept like 10 hours last night, very much needed. I wanted guitar at the party. Not to show off, just to take me away I guess. Something that made me feel like me again. It helps a lot. I can't really explain it. Saw a lot of old friends, brought back a lot of old memories. Stuff I don't wanna forget per say, but... stuff that reminds me of a different me. Only constant in my life since then and now is music. My guitar is always loyal. Oh well, things come and go. It's also kinda nice to know I haven't been forgotten by everyone too. Long live the 02 crew? Ahh whatever.
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new song [Aug. 12th, 2005|01:45 am]
onedayremains88
[mood |creativecreative]
[music |Dragonforce "Soldiers of the Wasteland"]

"Stand Tall"
(Verse)
Tested by our lives
Give it all you got
Feeling better off
Being left to rot

(Pre Chorus)
Throw the hurdles higher
And tie my noose a bit tighter
Send us all you have in your way

But don't expect me to fall
Cuz I'm just standing tall
Doesn't matter what you gotta say

(Chorus)
I'LL STAND TALL!!
Through adversity
I'LL STAND TALL!!
For all you can see
I'LL STAND TALL!!
So come back at me
I'LL STAND TALL!!
A hero's what I'll be!!!

(Verse)
Slowly teenage lives
Turn to living hell
Problems in the air
The stories they could tell

(Pre-Chorus)
The hurdles just got higher
Because of our desire
They're sending all that they got, in the way

They just expect us to fall
But we're gonna stand tall
Doesn't matter what they gotta say!

(Chorus)
I'LL STAND TALL!!
Through adversity
I'LL STAND TALL!!
For all you can see
I'LL STAND TALL!!
So come back at me
I'LL STAND TALL!!
A hero's what I'll be!!!

(Break-down)
Wooooaaahh
We've gone
So far.
We have,
We are.
We've got
It all.
We'll take
The fall!!!!

(Chorus)
I'LL STAND TALL!!
Through adversity
I'LL STAND TALL!!
For all you can see
I'LL STAND TALL!!
So come back at me
I'LL STAND TALL!!
A hero's what I'll be!!!
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(no subject) [Aug. 10th, 2005|12:07 pm]
onedayremains88
[mood |crushedcrushed]
[music |Godsmack "Keep Away"]

I guess this is what you get.
For being so nice
For caring
For Loving
I guess it's just like everything else in my life
If I really want it
I'll taste it
And it'll slip through my fingers
But maybe I don't deserve it
I dunno
Fuck me
That's about all I can muster up
But I always end up getting fucked over
So what does it matter
Maybe I could just end everything
I wouldn't have to be hurt
Ever
Again
Anyone
Never
There will never be another
And
I'll always want her back
But I'll never get it
She'll find that sailor
And he'll take her away
And I'll be off
Wasting my life away
Because I have no ambiton
And no one to tell me about
How good I am
At everything
Or anyone to return the favor to
But I guess I'm not good enough
Or
"You've lost that loving feeling"
As they say in Top Gun
I know...
"It's not you, it's me"
I get it
You're a part of me
Forever
Everyone should just go away
I think I'll go find that razor or something
Anything to calm me down
Cuz this pain is more unbearable
Than the deepest cut
:'-(
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Good song... [Aug. 9th, 2005|03:28 am]
onedayremains88
[mood |worriedworried]
[music |System of a Down "Question!"]

"Question!"
Sweet berries ready for two
Ghosts are no different than you
Ghosts are now waiting for you
Are you

Sweet berries ready for two
Ghosts are no different than you
Ghosts are now waiting for you
Are you dreaming

Dreaming the night
Dreaming all right

Do we, do we know
When we fly
When we, when we go
Do we die

Sweet berries ready for two
Ghosts are no different than you
Ghosts are now waiting for you
Are you

Sweet berries ready for two
Ghosts are no different than you
Ghosts are now waiting for you
Are you dreaming

Dreaming the night
Dreaming all right

Do we, do we know
When we fly
When we, when we go
Do we die

Do we, do we know
When we fly
When we, when we go
Do we die

I doubt it. What am I worrying for? Is it wrong to worry? It can't be. I looked up things anyway. Yeah. Just in case I guess. I'm not gonna think about it. Sorry. Warm hugs. Yeah... I need more of em.
/\m/\
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Ya know what? [Aug. 7th, 2005|05:44 pm]
onedayremains88
[mood |indifferentindifferent]
[music |Family Guy Season 4 Episode 7]

Fuck off. If anyone doesn't like me for who I am they can kiss it. I know that no one who does think of me like that will read this, but hell, I just need to rant. People just piss me off. I know a lot of people don't actually know me that well and they judge me. To them, I say go to hell. You won't even get to know me but stereotype me. I'm sorry if I don't fucking abide to your every request. Someone will know what I'm talkin about here. Oh my fucking god it pisses me off. I'm not gonna change for anybody. I'm sorry, I'm shy, get over it. Ugh. Sorry, I just go so damn mad today. Don't take it the wrong way, you. I'm mad at the guy who is a jerk-off. He needs to have his ego kicked out of him. I hope he gets beat up or something. Yeah, that's it. /\m/\
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4 am [Aug. 4th, 2005|04:15 am]
onedayremains88
[mood |blank????]
[music |Disturbed "Land of Confusion"]

Yeah, it's 4:15 am. No one is online. I'm still up. This is after I got up at 6 am the day before. Sleep would be nice, I guess. So effing exhausted, in every other way, but I don't wanna sleep. It's so... pointless. You just wake up in the same place you were the night before and nothing but time has changed. You still feel tired, especially when you wake up. I'm pretty awake now, so why sleep? Who knows. I wanted to play guitar tonight until my fingers bled. I stopped though, cuz I can't even will myself to play that long. Sad but true as Metallica says. Ugh. I guess I should go to bed just to please the parental units. They already think I'm out like, molesting children in the morning or something. Wow, I can hardly see now. I'm sad, at the same time confident, distraught, wired but also tired, and I have a massive headache. Hooray for explosions in my sinus cavity! Maybe I shoulda played until my fingertips bled. That woulda been METAL. This whole entry is really random. I guess if you read it you'll think I'm insane. Now my neck hurts. Jesus christ, I feel old. Watch out, 17 hits you hard apparently. I love her. Yeah, you saw that coming eventually. I do. Forever. No one else. Why do they punch holes in old card decks and sell them for a dollar? What is the use for the holes? And why is Mountain Dew called a dew? It's not a dew, it's a freaking carbonated liquid. This song makes a lot of sense. We just gotta fight with what we have and the hand we've been dealt. So thank you Phil Collins and... the other assorted members of Genesis, who I cannot name, for giving us this song. Also, a thank you to Disturbed for making it metal and covering it on their album that isn't out yet that I already have. Silly internet and cd makers. I beat you! haha! Fuck... Yeah. Fuck everyone else. Phil Collins tells us we're gonna make it right, so I will. Phil for president. Or... something? I dunno... so random. Can't think straight. Post lyrics now. Peace /\m/\

"Land of Confusion" by Genesis
I must’ve dreamed a thousand dreams
Been haunted by a million screams
But I can hear the marching feet
They’re moving into the street.

Now did you read the news today
They say the danger’s gone away
But I can see the fire’s still alight
There burning into the night.

There’s too many men
Too many people
Making too many problems
And not much love to go round
Can’t you see
This is a land of confusion.

This is the world we live in
And these are the hands we’re given
Use them and let’s start trying
To make it a place worth living in.

Ooh superman where are you now
When everything’s gone wrong somehow
The men of steel, the men of power
Are losing control by the hour.

This is the time
This is the place
So we look for the future
But there’s not much love to go round
Tell me why, this is a land of confusion.

This is the world we live in
And these are the hands we’re given
Use them and let’s start trying
To make it a place worth living in.

I remember long ago -
Ooh when the sun was shining
Yes and the stars were bright
All through the night
And the sound of your laughter
As I held you tight
So long ago -

I won’t be coming home tonight
My generation will put it right
We’re not just making promises
That we know, we’ll never keep.

Too many men
There’s too many people
Making too many problems
And not much love to go round
Can’t you see
This is a land of confusion.

Now this is the world we live in
And these are the hands we’re given
Use them and let’s start trying
To make it a place worth fighting for.

This is the world we live in
And these are the names we’re given
Stand up and let’s start showing
Just where our lives are going to.
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