I purposely have been leaving this journal Idle the past month or so. I have had no urge to write here, update, read my friends or anything. I didn't wanna read antyhing that would upset me, and sure enough, I found something that did. I did... I knew I would if I did. I did. Now I'm confused, hurt, messed up. Nothing works... I don't understand. I don't get it. I feel like a side project. I feel like I'm just for kicks sometimes. I don't understand... it hurts. Not a good way to start my afternoon, now I'm gonna end up at work all fucked up. I need answers... honest answers. Just as this was looking so good again... just when I thought it was going to work again... it all seems to blow up in my face. I love you... I think I'll shower now, and blast the only song that ever makes sense to me anymore. The one I have on right now.